How Long To Wait for a Text Before Giving Up

Relationship Coach |
Updated on January 6th, 2023 |

Everyone wants to find love. It is a natural thing to love and to want to be loved. Unfortunately, dating in the 21st century is more complicated than at any other point in human history. Online dating and constant contact from cell phones make it easy to get into your head about the other person’s feelings about you.

When you can communicate with the person you are dating at any time, it is easy to question whether they are interested in you. If they do not respond in what you consider a timely manner, you might think they are no longer interested. However, everyone has different views on how long it is acceptable to wait to respond to a text. Typically, you should give someone three days to respond to a text before you start to worry.

So, at this point, you are probably asking, what makes you the expert? Well, we would never call ourselves experts, but we have been around the block. We have had our share of relationships, so we can answer this question from experience.

Here we will answer how long to wait for a text before giving up in more detail. By the time you are done reading, you should have all the information you need to put your mind at ease.

Give Them at Least Three Days To Respond

When you first start dating someone, you might be eager to talk to them. If you had a good first date or a good first few dates, you might want to talk to them all the time. Unfortunately, that might not be the case for the other person. However, it is important to remember that not responding quickly does not necessarily mean they are not interested.

Everyone is different, and not everyone pays attention to their phone 24/7. Some people also do not respond to texts as soon as they see them. Instead, they might see a text and take a mental note to respond in a few hours. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to those people forgetting to respond. 

This may lead you to wonder, how long to wait for a text before giving up? In general, you should give them around three days to respond.

However, we want to emphasize what we mean here. We do not mean that it is acceptable for someone to take three days to respond every time you text. If you are having a middle of a conversation and they suddenly stop responding for three days, that is a red flag. However, if you send the first text, you can give them a few days to respond.

Additionally, waiting three days to respond stops you from doing something you might forget. When you start dating someone, you want to be at your best. You do not necessarily need to act like someone you are not, but you should try to show the best aspects of yourself. Being over-eager and sending double texts can turn some people off.

After three days, you can send another text to see if they missed your text or if they are still interested. If they do not respond, you know all you need to know. However, if they do respond, they will probably explain why they did not respond sooner. Either way, waiting a few days makes the situation a lot easier.

Give Them 3 Days to Respond

If They Do Not Respond, Think About What You Want To Say

If the person you are texting does not respond promptly, you might want to text them again to see if they will respond. If you send a second text, it means you are still interested, and as a result, you need to think about what you will say beforehand.

We think it is a good idea to write out what you will say before you send the second text. You do not want to send something you regret. You might be mad, but if you are still interested in them, you cannot yell at them through text after a few dates.

You can let them know how you feel without going over the top. Get your thoughts straight in your head, write them down, and read them before you click send.

Depending on how you feel, you have a couple of options here. You can be completely non-confrontational. If you go this route, you can say something like, “Hey, I’m just checking in to see if you got my last text!” Saying something like that gets your point across that they missed your text, but it should not start an argument.

However, if you are hurt that they did not respond promptly, you need to think harder about what you want to say. It all depends on where you are in the relationship and how open you want to be.

Do Not Play Games

One of the worst aspects of dating in the digital age is the mind games people play. But, it is important to remember that if you start playing mind games, they will as well. So, it is better to be honest about what you want from the relationship and what your expectations are upfront.

Toxicity goes both ways, and while not responding to texts promptly is toxic, so is sending an aggressive second text. Sending a late night, drunken text three days later saying you are too good for them anyway is not going to get the response you want. 

Instead, you should be respectful and explain how you feel and how you stand. You can then step back to see what they say. If they do not respond, you can leave the situation knowing you did everything possible. If they do respond, you can read their response and see where to go from there.

Ask Yourself Why They Are Not Responding

If someone you went on a few dates with is not responding promptly, you will probably wonder why they are not responding. You might ask yourself if you did something weird that turned them off. However, most people do not take the time to reflect and think if they did something to hurt the other person.

Think back to the most recent conversations you had with the person. Could you have said something that offended them? How was your body language, and how did you act on the date? Were you friendly, or were you standoffish? 

Reflecting on what you did wrong might not make them respond any quicker, but it could give you clarity on what to do differently next time.

Furthermore, if you acknowledge what you did wrong to the person in a second text, they might be more inclined to text you back.

Only Send One Follow Up Text

If you are dating someone new and they do not respond to a text, you should only send one follow-up text a few days later. Do not make it an essay; keep it short.

It might be painful to wait, but it is better than sending several follow-up texts. If they are interested in you, getting them to respond should not take a third text.

Only Send One Follow Up Text

Final Thoughts

Waiting for someone to respond can be very painful, especially when dating someone new. So how long to wait for a text before giving up? While you might be tempted to send follow-up texts after a few hours, you should wait a few days. Doing so gives them ample time to respond and keeps you from seeming over eager.

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